A. I'm sorry I missed your call but I can't always get to the telephone and I only ever return calls within a 2 hour time frame for your peace of mind. You may have forgotten to leave your telephone number & name? I never reply to texts,it's the nails you see ;)

Q. What do I need to do to cancel an appointment?

A. Well the nice thing to do would be to call me on the telephone and cancel with as much notice as possible, I'm absolutely cool with that! But not showing up at all or emailing me an hour before an appointment to cancel will be frowned upon! It might also result in your telephone number being put on a timewaster/blacklist which fellow escorts share. Deliberately and consistently wasting my time will also result in your balls being cut off with a blunt utensil and fed to the pigeons.

Q. What services do you offer?
A. I offer a Girlfriend experience "GFE". If you don't know what this means,where have you been?

Q. What is an Outcall, how far will you travel?
A. An "Outcall" is where I come to your place i.e your hotel room or apartment. I travel all over the country.

Q. Do you smoke?
A. Yes, but if you wish me not to, that isn't a problem.

Q. Can I pay via credit card or cheque?
A. Don't be silly.